“Violence against women is perhaps the most shameful human right violation, and it is perhaps the most pervasive. It knows no boundary of geography, culture or wealth. As long as it continues, we cannot claim to be making real progress towards equality, development, and peace”.
Kofi Annan
It is estimated that 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or sexual violence by a non-partner at some point in their lives.
Research shows that domestic violence cuts across socioeconomic, ethnic groups.
Often times, I ask women who suffer from a violent relationship what happened and they tell you; he suddenly turned violent. I often times disagree with because I know that no man turns violent overnight. In as much as women can be mouthy and provocative, it still doesn’t give a man the right to hit a woman and raise his hands against a woman.
However, there are signs that women need to watch out for during courtship. Most women overlook these signs with the belief that the man would change when they are married. Some women go as far as making excuses for the man and blaming themselves for his attitude.
Society, on the other hand, has not helped women when it comes to domestic and other forms of violence. You hear people say, pray about it; you can’t leave him because of your children or what would people say about you not being able to keep your home
One question that I have never failed to ask is what happens to the victim if she loses her life as a result of such? Who then takes care of the children when she is gone?
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one sole purpose; to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t play fair, Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb.
Domestic violence does not discriminate. Abuse happens amongst couples. It occurs within age, ethnic backgrounds and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused especially verbally and emotionally
Recognizing abuse is the first step to getting help. Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. While physical injury may be the most obvious; the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe.
Emotionally abusive relationships can destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression and make you feel helpless and all alone.
It is always good to speak out and talk to the right persons and help your spouse seek help because most times the abuser is reacting to some unconscious childhood experiences that has been repressed over time. (A boy who saw the father always beat his mother or beat women when he was little would more than likely beat his wife or women when he grows older)
to be Continued…
Chisom Grace 